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Jay Z headlining Glastonbury coming on stage strumming ‘Wonder Wall’ before launching into ‘99 Problems’ was fucking incredible, I’ll always remember it, he destroyed Noel Gallagher. 
 

One of my favourite things written about Noel was by Luke Haines. 
 

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And then there is the other kind of conservatism. That horrible vainglorious period when Noel and Alan McGee were courted by New Labour. A couple of rock & roll dunces led like lambs into the political media death-mincer. And those nasty boasts about wealth and commercial success that have been a feature of the Gallagher interview from day one. Nowadays, though, Noel sounds less like a working-class Manc on the make and more like a self-made Tory boasting to the other golf club bores about his new mooring in the marina.

https://itstartswithabirthstone.blogspot.com/2015/03/luke-haines-on-noel-gallagher.html?m=1
The response from Alan McGee is priceless:

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'LUKE HAINES of many MANY failed shit rock bands is in this ''review'' having a go at noel and me/he truly does amuse me LUKE HAINES has been in music for years without any success on any level (has he ever even had a hit record} which does actually take some doing/he looks like a fat homeless tramp/he's bitter, fat and penniless apart from that he's doing great.'

Kind of proving Luke’s point. 

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1 hour ago, Festoon said:

 

They are (I see there's a Sun front page going round today with a Noel quote about woke snowflakes 🙄). But I find anyone who someone who writes this, twice in one piece...

 

Not into Oasis. I prefer music.

 

... Even more insufferable. Fuck that guy, for writing the most smugly dismissive line I've come across in music writing in a very long time (a competitive field).

 

People are going to be going round smugly quoting that line for years, aren't they? Like that Nick Cave line about the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

 

 

 

 

Not that advocates of Oasis's music are any better. A few months ago I got disproportionately annoyed by some YouTube guy who was moaning Why Isn't Music As Good As It Was During Britpop, which I ranted about here:

 

 

 

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Noel seems quite clever in interviews sometimes, but he also seems like someone who's spent the last thirty years gradually getting rid of anyone who disagrees with him, and has entered the Stuart Campbell phase of never ever thinking anything through, and just taking your immediate thoughts on a topic as the absolute final word on the subject. And surprise surprise, he's turned into a reactionary middle-aged rock star.

 

I remember reading an interview he did with Danny Wallace years ago that contained the following exchange:

 

Quote

 

What would be our Bible, then?

I only read factual books. I can't think of... I mean, novels are just a waste of fucking time. I can't suspend belief in reality... I just end up thinking, 'This isn't fucking true.' I like reading about things that have actually happened. I'm reading this book at the minute - The Kennedy Tapes. It's all about the Cold War, the Cuban Missile Crisis - I can get into that. Thinking, 'Wow, this actually fucking happened, they came that close to blowing the world up!'

 

Thing is, I write books, and...

Hey. I know you write books and all that shit. I'm just saying. The winner of the Pulitzer Prize [for fiction]. What a cunt. Whoever that is, has got to be. I don't get it. Book sellers, book readers, book writers, book owners - fuck all of them.

 

Book owners?

Yeah. And I own books! But about shit that happened. That's what I'm talking about. Fifty Shades Of Grey? Fifty shades of shite. I'm not having it. Novels... how could you read that?

 

But do you like films?

Yeah, I love films.

 

But films aren't real. Do you sit watching them thinking, "Oh, this didn't happen"?

Well, you've presented me with a dilemma there. But, say, my favourite film, The Good, The Bad And The Ugly... now, that might've happened. The American Civil War - that happened. I guess I don't have the chip in the brain that allows me to... like, if I was to read the book of The Good, The Bad And The Ugly, I don't want to have to invent the character Clint Eastwood plays... I want to just watch him.

 

You want all the work done for you.

Too fucking right. Novels and the people who write them, like I say, are putting themselves a few rungs above the rest of us. They're purporting to be intellectual, and... for you to write a book, is for you to say, "I am better than you." My 68 million records beat your one book.

 

 

Imagine getting battered by Danny Wallace in an exchange like that: the fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. Similarly, the Noel doth think he is wise, but the Shaun Ryder knows himself to be a fool, and the Alan McGee doth done too much gak in the nineties and his brain no longer works properly.

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34 minutes ago, Nick R said:

 

They are (I see there's a Sun front page going round today with a Noel quote about woke snowflakes 🙄). But I find anyone who someone who writes this, twice in one piece...

 

Not into Oasis. I prefer music.

 

... Even more insufferable. Fuck that guy, for writing the most smugly dismissive line I've come across in music writing in a very long time (a competitive field).

 

People are going to be going round smugly quoting that line for years, aren't they? Like that Nick Cave line about the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

 

 

 

 

Not that advocates of Oasis's music are any better. A few months ago I got disproportionately annoyed by some YouTube guy who was moaning Why Isn't Music As Good As It Was During Britpop, which I ranted about here:

 

 

 

It definitely doesn’t need that bit about preferring music, I think if you made it to the end of the piece you get what he thinks about Oasis, it’s superfluous. That Nick Cave quote on the other hand, is genius, and I never tire of hearing it. 

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39 minutes ago, K said:

I remember reading an interview he did with Danny Wallace years ago that contained the following exchange:

 

I remember seeing that. His comments about never reading fictional stories reminded me of Michael Owen saying that he's only ever watched about five movies in his whole life.

 

Spoiler

Rocky, Ghost, Cool Runnings, Jurassic Park, and Heat.

 

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42 minutes ago, Stanley said:

It definitely doesn’t need that bit about preferring music, I think if you made it to the end of the piece you get what he thinks about Oasis, it’s superfluous. That Nick Cave quote on the other hand, is genius, and I never tire of hearing it. 

 

What did Cave say about RHCP?

 

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37 minutes ago, Festoon said:

 

What did Cave say about RHCP?

 

Quote

“I’m forever near a stereo saying, ‘What the fuck is this garbage? ‘ And the answer is always the Red Hot Chili Peppers.”

 

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1 hour ago, Nick R said:

 

I remember seeing that. His comments about never reading fictional stories reminded me of Michael Owen saying that he's only ever watched about five movies in his whole life.

 

  Hide contents

Rocky, Ghost, Cool Runnings, Jurassic Park, and Heat.

 

In fairness, that’s not a bad selection. I assumed he’d go for Top Gun or one of the Fast and Furious films.

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49 minutes ago, Stanley said:

 

 

Ah right, very witty.

 

I don't like the Chili Pepper's music, but then again I saw Cave behaving like a petulant prima donna backstage at an Irish festival, whereas I always imagined the Pepper's would be pretty sound.

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1 hour ago, Festoon said:

 

Ah right, very witty.

 

I don't like the Chili Pepper's music, but then again I saw Cave behaving like a petulant prima donna backstage at an Irish festival, whereas I always imagined the Pepper's would be pretty sound.

Well I suppose if you ignore their obnoxious behaviour to women. 

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1 hour ago, Fierce Poodle said:

Cave can fuck off too. Another arsehole who has a problem with “woke” culture and had the temerity to defend Morrissey. Tiresome cunt making dreary, shit music.

Hey it’s just a good quote, also I don’t think he did defend him did he? 

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50 minutes ago, Stanley said:

Well I suppose if you ignore their obnoxious behaviour to women. 

 

I literally know nothing about them except the bassist is called Flea and also acts.

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41 minutes ago, Festoon said:

 

No offence man, but I've never consciously listened to a note of their music so I really can't be bothered reading that. 


They spent their fame sexually harassing and assaulting women. I remember seeing a video of them assaulting a young woman horribly live on TV. No shame. Neither have they ever apologised or shown any remorse for their behaviour.

 

Here, it is:

 

 

Sound? A bunch of despicable c**ts more like. 

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35 minutes ago, Oh Danny Boy said:


They spent their fame sexually harassing and assaulting women. I remember seeing a video of them assaulting a young woman horribly live on TV. No shame. Neither have they ever apologised or shown any remorse for their behaviour.

 

Here, it is:

 

 

Sound? A bunch of despicable c**ts more like. 

 

Fair enough, as I said. I know literally nothing about them other than nothing I've ever heard in passing has made me think "I must make an effort to hear that again". They are literally musical wallpaper. It all just sounds like funky wank to me.

 

Probably worth noting here, it was just a tossed off comment about RHCP, I have no allegiance to them whatsoever. That video was fucking awful but lets not forget the cameraman too being desperate for a naked tit shot. I just saw Cave being a cunt.

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2 hours ago, Festoon said:

 

No offence man, but I've never consciously listened to a note of their music so I really can't be bothered reading that. 

None taken! 

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On 10/06/2021 at 17:29, Nick R said:

But I find anyone who someone who writes this, twice in one piece...

 

Not into Oasis. I prefer music.

 

... Even more insufferable. Fuck that guy, for writing the most smugly dismissive line I've come across in music writing in a very long time (a competitive field).

 

People are going to be going round smugly quoting that line for years, aren't they? Like that Nick Cave line about the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

 

Not that advocates of Oasis's music are any better. A few months ago I got disproportionately annoyed by some YouTube guy who was moaning Why Isn't Music As Good As It Was During Britpop, which I ranted about here:

 

 

 

 

That's Kulkarni's schtick - fire and brimstone. Carpet bombing. Nuk8ng the site from orbit.

 

But listen, he's not wrong. Oasis are a covers band covering their favourite music and passing it off as their own so he has a point. They made poor facsimile music - like the covers you used hear in cheapo supermarkets.

 

They're basically The Baron Knights without an attempt at humour. 

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